Sunday, April 6, 2014

everything happens for a reason...

everything happens for a reason, I dont know kung paano ako magsisimula. this is the first time that I will share yung mga ganap in the accident. ayokong gawing formal yung details, I will still do it parin on how I write on my blog para magaan lang sa feelings. never ko inexpect na ma-eexperince ko yung mga eksena na napapanuod ko lang sa movie at sa mga series. accident happened feb 07, 2014 papunta kami sa kalinga, mt. province to celebrate a bday of a little boy. honestly hinde naman pure pasyal yung gagawin namin, we are there to give some school supplies and to feed a small tribe. around 7:30am in the morning last stop over na namin in mt. polis, nag-wiwi break,coffee and little breakfast pa nga yung ibang passenger. sabi nila mga 20-30 mins nalang andun na kami sa destination namin. ang bilis ng mga panyayari, nag-uusap yug driver at conductor ng ilocano pero medyo parang nagtatalo na sila, deadma lang kasi hinde ko naman naiintindihan yung language nila, this time yung road is pababa na ng bundok at medyo curvy na. sabi ng driver wala ng break, so syempre nag-panic na yung mga tao. nagsisigawan na sila na kung pwede ibangga nalang sa right side since bundok naman yun, nakita ko yung conductor na tumalon from the door bus. I wanted to jump also to save my life. I saw one of my friend in the front na nakatayo sa harapan, nakita ko din na mahihirapan ako dumaan kasi ang dami ng tambak sa harapan baka maipit pa ako lalo. sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari at pabilis na din kami ng pabilis. hinde ko rin naman kaya na iwanan yung mga kaibigan ko in that kind of situation. I was praying na "Lord, pls give us some strength and save us." pero at the back of my mind I am thanking God na kasi He grant parin nya yung wish ko on how I would like to die, He knew na ayoko ng painful na kailangan ko pa mag-struggle ng matagal. It felt na parang nasa rollercoarter ride kami nung nalalaglag, I grab my bag, hug it then ng egg roll ako sa may upuan. I saw the sky, akala ko naka-impact na kami yun pala natangal na yung bubong ng bus, I was waiting na nga na mag-open ang kalangitan to welcome me kaso hinde nangyare. may parang nag-vacuum sakin palabas ng bus, umikot ako 360 degrees, nakita ko yung road sa my bundok na pinanggalingan namin, madaming puno, may small na ilog, and wishing na hinde naman lupa ang naka-open to welcome me. I was reaching for the bus kahit nasa ere na ako dahil gusto kong may makapitan, I saw the bus empty Cams & Ayen wasn't there to be seen then something hit on me and after that hinde ko na alam yung mga nangyari.

I woke-up nalang on the Bontoc Hospital, pero nakapikit pa ako nakikiramdam sa paligid. I counted 1-10, sing ABC's on my mind and trying to remember what happened. I open my eyes then moved my hands and feet, shake my head. pero nung inattempt ko na umupo, I can't move my back. I panic and cried. nag worry ako na baka tinamaan ang spinal ko. dahil eversince mahina talaga ang likod ko i-add mo pa na my Scoliosis ako. I ask one of the attending nurse kung pwde ako makahiram ng phone to make a call sa tita ko sa bahay. I called my tita to tell her na we engaged in an accident, then after I put down the phone nawalan na ako uli ng malay.

I woke-up again, and ask if my friends are okay? pero hinde pa nila ako mabigyan ng feedback this time since hinde pa yata fix yung mga names ng mga naka-survived. ok sige, I ask nalang the Nurse if kung pwde nya ako bigyan ng salamin para makita ko naman ang face ko. at ang sabi ng Nurse, "sorry sir, hindi pa po pwde sabi ng doctor." edi syempre nag-iiyak na naman ako. anong nangyare sa mukha ko at ayaw nila ako pahiramin ng salamin. then I looked at my finger nails at nakita ko silang lahat ang iitim. best in iyak na naman ako dahil akala ko namatay lahat ng kuko ko buti nalang putik lang sila. kaya naman nung naibalik sa akin yung bag ko, I immediately took my phone para makapag-selfie at makita ang face ko, good thing buo naman ang face ko at puro sugat, galos at tahi lang that time. most of the victim were transferred na in other hospital kasi mas advance yung facility nila, pero ako hinde ako pumayag kasi because Im too scared na ibyahe ako by land knowing na yung daanan namin is same daanan nung na-aksidente kami, you cant blame me kung praning pa ako ng mga time na yun. buti nalang one of the volunteer na nag-alaga sakin in the bontoc which is hinde ko alam yung name, and I am so eager na makilala sya in person para mapasalamatan ng bongga, pero hinde parin nya kasi ako ina-add sa FB at nung times din na yun hinde gumagana ang memory ko. kahit yata simpleng info hinde ko matatandaan agad specially shock pa ang katawan ko sa nangyare. sinamahan ako ni ate sa ambulance hanggang sa makaratig ako kami sa hospital, Luis Hora yata ang name if I am not mali. they run some test on me like another set of xray, ct scan and more. dun narin kami nagkita ni Cams and the other survivor na kasama namin sa bus.


I thought, I am ok. akala ko yung likod ko lang yung fracture ko. pero something is tumusok pala sa head ko na medyo malalim kaya na fracture din yung skull ko at nag-develop ng mga blood clot inside. so I need to be transfer as soon as possible sa mas advance na hospital to perform a surgery in my skull, if not  made-dead talaga ako. God is so good that he didnt gave me so much pain that time, because hinde ko alam kung paano ko pa ihahandle. I didn't feel any pain sa ulo ko kaya akala ko talaga is wala akong tama dun. Cams gave me her slot sa airlift at pina-una nya ako sa manila para ma-operahan. and for that I told her na I owe her my life kasi kung ng by land ako lets say in baguio city baka hinde rin ako umabot. bago ako mailipad ng chopper ( yes, nakasakay na ako ng chopper pero syempre hinde ko na-enjoy diba ) I told Cams na sa medical city kami magkita or makati med because for sure doon maliligtas talaga ang buhay namin. na-airlift ako with Milo, we arrived at Villamor airbase, the doctor asked me kung san ko daw ba gusto magpa-dala na hospital while waiting sa tita ko. so I asked them nga na medical city, makati med or st lukes lang. st lukes is available pero the fort, so I said no kasi malayo at walang dadalaw sakin. makati med naman is walang available daw na neuro surgeon, medical city naman that time is wala pang responseand one of the available daw is east-avenue hospital and Ididn't hesitate to say NO! ayoko baka lalo pa akong ma-dead. buti nalang after a while nag-confim na ang neuro ng medical city for my skull operation.

I dont want to ask God pa any question, or to blame anyone why this tragedy haopened to us. bakit may mga kaibigan, at mahal sa buhay ang kailangan ng magpa-alam. but I hope this will become a wake-up call to everyone specially in our government na gawin naman nilang maayus ang trabaho nila, icheck ang mga dapat icheck. all I want to do is to move forward. I don't consider myself as a lucky person kaya buhay pa ako, I considered my self as a very blessed person. hinde ko man ipakita how Godfearing I am, because I know na hinde naman ganoon ka-smooth ang ugali ko. I have a big faith in him eversince, I have my own relationship with him. one thing for sure my purpose pa sakin si God kaya na-extend pa ang life ko and I am so excited na malaman kung ano yun and I will not fail him.

this photo is by Yvette, who patiently waited for me in medical city and Jm too.


this my skull stitches 


to be continued...